Cherish everything

Contemplating life. I think I'm losing grip again. Idek whats going on anymore. I want to be a doctor. I have always wanted to be one but now I'm doubting myself. I feel like taking accountancy. Or maybe I just wanna go somewhere overseas. Cuz I didnt get that JPA-MARA and only by taking accountancy I still have hope to go overseas, which is New Zealand. Lorde. And their weird accent..... But it seems like Im stuck in Malaysia for the next 10 years haiz. I wanna go somewhere. I wanna see different minds. I wanna meet new people. New culture. New surrounding. And not to forget, new weather (cuz Malaysia has been extra hot these days -,-)

Sadness is okay. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be vulnerable. But it's not okay to let your sadness get the best of you. Don't let your sadness get the best of you. It's been so long since I last felt so content. Feel happy with just what I have. I am now too far from grateful.

Alhamdulillah.  The waiting is over. Alhamdulillah for my results. Alhamdulillah it is worth it enduring heartbreaks and pain in high school. I was really a sucker for straight As, so I could prove those people who have been belittling me, I can do it. My niat was wrong, I know. SPM is not everything afterall. Unilife will not be easy. I will have to start from zero again. Feeling? To be honest, i feel relieved, that was all. All along my waiting, i had always had the thought that i would not get what i wanted. Because of things i had done, because i wasnt that nice before. But seeing your bestfriends crying, is not a nice feeling. I feel terrible :( how can i be happy when my loved ones are not happy? Who should i share my happiness with? This sounds clice but that was really what I felt.... Alhamdulillah, Allah kat atas bagi rezeki lebih sikit. Tapi takut, what did I do to deserve this much rezeki. Banyak sangat rezeki. Alhamdulillah. Mama kata spm ni lagi satu ujian, ...

The Theory Of Everything.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that all you could do is cry????? I've never wanted something as much as I want this thing I want right now. Pls notice that I say a thing, not someone hahahhaha. Ive never wanted ipods or handbag or shoes as much as I want this thing this time. I really want it to the level that I cry at the thought of it. Like srsly every time I think of this one thing, all I could do is cry.  And pls dont say "u dont get everythng u want, but u get everythng u need" because that is totally not comforting :-( this time is the worst.

THIS IS SO TRUE I KENOT DENY. This comes whenever I wake up from a nightmare. E.g. last few days I had a nightmare which was, I was bitten by a rabbit. And the rabbit had fangs!!!!! Gigi taring. It was weird and hella scary wey!!!!!!!! This feeling also comes when I read some novels with bad endings. Also when I watch gossip girl and I get emotional. Ah.

Sometimes we're attached to the picture of someone. To how we believe s/he is, even when that someone has changed. Hold on to something that doesn't exist anymore.  And sadly, this is one of the things I've always been good at. (some people think I do not feel a thing because I have this emotionless get-out-of-my-way-i-hate-you look and i dont care and im never serious and im just playing around) But BREAKING NEWS: wajihah zaki does have a thing called feelings.