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A 20-year-old currently taking up Pharmacy. Of life updates and random writings. My ups and downs, my thoughts and nonsense.

August 14, 2016

#82

The things I would've done right if I had another chance, that's the worst part of our break up. How many nights had I spent waiting for your call with I miss you coming out from your lips. Those same lips that said the break up lines. The call that never came. Don't get me started with how I broke down and the nights my pillows turned into river of tears. The day I told myself wow you're getting better this is good just to drench myself in tears of despair again at night. Don't get me started with how my dad asked "why do you look so sad? If it's because of your broken iPod, we'll get a new one soon". Little did he know, it wasn't the iPod but the heart. How many times had I cringed as Spotify decided to play our song. But never did I skip that song, it reminded me of (what I thought was) a good time. "He's not worth it my dear, you deserve so much more", they said. And I listed every single thing I loved about you. Every time I achieved something, you were the person I wanted to hear "congratulations" from.

But at my lowest or at my highest, you were never there. The nights I wanted you, you were never there to tell me "I'm here". The nights I fought this feeling, you were never there to convince me to stay. But here I am, years later after the break up lines were spoken, still here. If I can have another chance, if you ever come back, we can skip the sorrys part, we can pretend the break up scene has never happened.

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