A letter to my own self

I'm sorry that I thought love could fix everything. I'm sorry that I replied to his "hi" years ago. I'm sorry I let myself talk to him everyday. I'm sorry I became attached to him. I'm sorry for the time I decided he deserved a chance. I'm sorry for the time I cared for his wellbeing. I'm sorry for putting effort.  I'm sorry I forgave him the first time he hurt me. I'm sorry I sacrificed my sleep for him and I'm sorry I still do that now, except it's for crying. I'm sorry I let him become my happiness. I'm sorry I trusted his "I won't leave you". I'm sorry I thought his love was real. I'm sorry I chose to believe in him even after he said "we need some time off each other". I'm sorry I accepted him every time he came. I'm sorry for thinking he's still the old boy I loved so deeply when he's not that same person anymore.  I'm sorry I actually waited. I'm sorry I didn't let myself heal.

Forgive me for searching for love in someone when it's deep within myself. Maybe if I had loved myself better, I would have walked away the first time he said "I'm not like other guys".